White Collar fic - A Step Out of the Door
Jan. 31st, 2012 09:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sheenianniTitle: A Step Out Of the Door
Author’s Name:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sheenianni
Fandom: White Collar
Spoilers: Season 3 – Episodes Checkmate (3.11) and Upper West Side Story (3.12)
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, June, Cindy, Samantha, Mozzie
Raiting: PG
Warnings/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~ 2.000
Summary: After they rescue Elizabeth, Neal knows he needs to find a way how to save his friendship with Peter. How do the coffee and the tickets fit into that? A missing moment and some Neal-introspection, set a week after Checkmate and before Upper West Side Story.
A/N: This story is my attempt at tribute to the fantastic Upper West Side Story episode – after the tension of the first half of Season 3, after Countdown and Checkmate, the resurrection of some of the easy bromance between Neal and Peter was just so wonderful. And parts of it feel too wordy, but, well, here it is.
As usual, this has been beta’ed by my friend GrayWolf from fanfiction.net. Thanks!
Art was done byleesa_perrie during Fandom Stocking 2013. Thank you :)
“So, what now?” asked Mozzie in a low voice.
Neal gulped down the rest of his wine and ran a hand through his hair. “Now, I try the best to fix things with Peter. And we wait.”
“That’s right. ‘In the case of news, we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation.’”
“Voltaire,” said Neal with a small smile before his expression turned serious again. “This might yet work out, Moz,” he said quietly. “For all I know, maybe Peter just didn’t want to deal with the Keller case so soon after… well, everything. At least he hasn’t made a decision yet. I can fix this. I have to fix this.”
“Well, thanks for calling me,” said Mozzie and got up from his chair. “I’ll drop by again tomorrow afternoon.”
“Goodbye, Moz,” said Neal and watched as the door closed behind his oldest real friend.
He pushed away the wine glasses and the half-empty bottle and stared at his hands on the table.
Neal knew that his current life could be hanging on a thread, and that the next few days would prove absolutely crucial for his future.
The news about the commutation hearing couldn’t have come at a worse time. While Neal would normally rejoice at the possibility of losing the anklet, he knew that he was given the opportunity on a false pretext. And what was worse, Peter knew it as well, and the injustice of it probably chafed at him and made him want to act.
In the brief moments after Keller’s confession and before Diana came with the news, Neal had started to hope that maybe, his and Peter’s partnership could be saved. Because even after everything, Peter had still thrown him a lifeline when he had stopped him from incriminating himself and told him about Keller’s confession.
But then the news came, and Neal was basically offered a reward for taking part in a heist of the century. And that was something that Peter could hardly accept.
Neal shook his head to wake himself up from his musings. He was startled when he realized that he had subconsciously picked a pencil and started to draw on a forgotten paper half-filled with writing. He quickly checked the paper and was relieved that it wasn’t anything Bureau-related. He wasn’t sure what would Peter say if he gave him a file filled with scribbles, but he wisely decided this wasn’t the moment to find out.
He did a double-take at the picture – and his heart constricted when he realized it he had sketched Elizabeth and Peter, as they had hugged each other in their house a few days ago after El’s rescue.
For a few seconds, Neal dropped his face into his hands. Then he got up and went to the balcony to watch as the evening shadows were evolving on New York.
How did you persuade your FBI agent supervisor that he didn’t want to send you back to prison after he found out that you had used your relative freedom to commit several felonies behind his back?
How did you prove to your partner that even after the lies and deception, he could still depend on you; that you would never let him down like that again, and that you two could still be a pretty good team?
And what in the world did you do after you betrayed the trust of a man that you considered your mentor (sometimes), your family (though you’d never admit it aloud), the man you respected like nobody else; the man who gave you a second chance at a better life and who was at first and utmost your very close friend?
Neal had never before let someone down so badly; not someone who mattered. And now he didn’t know what to do.
He supposed that in the past, he might have turned to Elizabeth for advice – but not after Keller and not after conning her in the beginning of this whole fiasco.
He could apologize – no, he had to apologize, that was for sure. But Neal also knew that a mere “sorry” wouldn’t cut it after all this, and especially not after El’s life had been put in danger because of him.
So many things were on stake now. His freedom, Mozzie’s freedom, his life at June’s, his job with the FBI, a chance to repair things with Sara – to repair things with El, who, as he suspected, might even now be arguing his case. If he went back, he would lose all of that.
But most of all, he would lose his partnership and friendship with Peter.
What now?
When Neal had tried to con Kate all these years ago and she left him for it, he had let it go in hopes that things would solve themselves after he and Alex got the music box. But they hadn’t, and while a part of Neal hoped that he could just outwait Peter’s disappointment and exasperation, he knew that he needed to do something. Soon.
It had been a week since they rescued El, and he and Peter had been perfectly polite to each other – or, more precisely, Peter was distant and polite and Neal was contrite and polite. At first, Neal had been relieved that (except for his initial reaction after El’s kidnapping) Peter had stayed calm, hadn’t shouted at him, hadn’t accused him in righteous anger. But now he was almost starting to wish that Peter had been angry, because maybe then they might have been able to move on and put this behind them.
Or maybe that was wistful thinking.
The distance wasn’t even that apparent at first glance. They still worked together, Neal still tried to act his usual self and Peter smiled at his jokes. But there was an abyss between them, and it had to be bridged, somehow. Only Neal had no idea how to do that.
Well, he could behave. And keep his head down. And apologize, and give it time – but time was something that he might not have.
If only Peter told him what he wanted from him.
Neal knew how to fix small fights. But he didn’t know how to fix this.
Suddenly, he heard a knocking at his door.
“I’m coming,” he called, and then he walked back inside and opened the door.
It was June with a plate of cookies. “Hello, Neal.”
“June,” said Neal with a warm smile. “What brings you here? These look wonderful,” he said to the plate of cookies.
“Oh, Samantha and I just finished baking them. Cindy is watching over her now, so I thought I’d bring you some.”
“Thank you,” said Neal and accepted the plate. “Hmm, they’re fantastic,” he mumbled after tasting one. “Do you want to come in?”
“Actually, I was about to ask you if you’d join us for a game of cards? Samantha wants to play ‘Go Fish’, and at least there would be some change from just the three of us playing.”
“I…” Neal hesitated.
Maybe it would do him good to get his mind off things…
“What is it?” asked June gently.
Neal shook his head. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems…”
Before he knew it, he was sitting downstairs in June’s kitchen with a coffee cup in his hands, while he could hear the voices from the living room.
“Got any fives, Cindy?”
“Go fish!”
“That’s not fair…”
“You know, sometimes, living with Byron wasn’t easy,” said June. “Or with my brother before that, for the matter. But I can tell you that, after any argument – now matter how big or small it was – the other usually appreciated it when the person tried to make up for it. Even if it was a clumsy effort… it counted.”
“What if it’s not enough this time?” asked Neal. “What if,” he felt his throat tighten, “what if the other doesn’t want to go back to the friendship? … I don’t know what to do, June,” he said with painful honesty.
“Did you try asking him?” asked June.
“You mean I should ask Peter, “Hey, how do I make up for taking everything you offered me and throwing it back in your face for the sake of a con”?” He shook his head. “We’ve been dancing around it for a whole week, and I’m not sure I want to poke into this particular hornet’s nest. … At least I’d want to find a really long stick first.”
“Well, then maybe you can ask Peter without actually asking,” said June mysteriously.
Neal frowned. “What do you have in mind?”
June got up and patted his shoulder. “Think about it, dear. … Now, let’s go have a play with Samantha. I think she’s really beginning to tire Cindy out.”
Neal smiled. “Okay.”
They got up and June put the cups away.
Neal stopped her just before they left the room. “June? Thanks for listening.”
June smiled. “Don’t mention it.”
“Great, you’re here,” said Cindy with a hint of relief. “You can start a new game…”
“No, you can’t leave!” exclaimed Samantha. “We need to finish first! And then all four of us have to play together!”
“Sammy, I have a project for tomorrow,” objected Cindy tiredly.
“Can I help you with it?” offered Neal spontaneously.
Cindy smiled. “No, I don’t think so – it’s a set of drawings; a study of one of Michelangelo’s sculptures. But thanks.”
“Let’s finish the game!” said Samantha. “Got any fours?” she asked eagerly.
Cindy picked up her cards in resignation.
Neal and June exchanged a chuckle. In his mind, Neal made a mental note to ask when June intended to introduce Samantha to poker. That should be fun to watch.
They played four games before Neal decided to return to his apartment.
Later, as he was sitting on his bed, he thought about June’s words.
Ask, but not ask… what had she meant by that?
It’s the effort that counts…
And suddenly, Neal’s eyes widened as he found the solution.
Or not a solution… but the beginning of it.
He couldn’t ask Peter in words how to make up for his misdeeds; how to regain his trust… but he could still get Peter to tell him.
Hmm… He would start with coffee. And baseball tickets. While there was no way he could bribe Peter to trust him again, he could show him that he wanted their friendship back. And maybe then, Peter would tell him what he actually could do to become worthy of another chance.
Neal was determined to save his friendship with Peter. And he would start tonight, by contacting some friends and getting those tickets.
He could call Greg, or maybe Mark, who owed him a favor for a blown scam. Or even better, he could call Frankie. He and Frankie had always got along rather well; Frankie liked him, and he had some connections. Yes, Frankie was the right guy for this. Frankie would help him out.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
It might have taken Neal a long time to realize how much New York and his current life meant for him, and because of that, he had almost lost it all. But now he knew, and if there was even a small chance that he could keep it, he would be damned if he let the best thing of his life slip away through his fingers.
There was nothing that Neal wanted more right now than to clear up the huge mess he had created in the last few months. If he was lucky, Peter would meet him halfway, or even quarter-way – hell, Neal would be happy if Peter was merely willing to take a step out of the door and wait for him until Neal could run all the way to get there.
And Peter was willing to do that, Neal realized. Otherwise he would have already proclaimed Keller’s testimony as false. He was willing to give Neal another chance, if Neal could prove to him that he was worth it.
Now all Neal had to do was not to screw up.
THE END
Author’s Name:
sheenianniFandom: White Collar
Spoilers: Season 3 – Episodes Checkmate (3.11) and Upper West Side Story (3.12)
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, June, Cindy, Samantha, Mozzie
Raiting: PG
Warnings/Triggers: None
Word Count: ~ 2.000
Summary: After they rescue Elizabeth, Neal knows he needs to find a way how to save his friendship with Peter. How do the coffee and the tickets fit into that? A missing moment and some Neal-introspection, set a week after Checkmate and before Upper West Side Story.
A/N: This story is my attempt at tribute to the fantastic Upper West Side Story episode – after the tension of the first half of Season 3, after Countdown and Checkmate, the resurrection of some of the easy bromance between Neal and Peter was just so wonderful. And parts of it feel too wordy, but, well, here it is.
As usual, this has been beta’ed by my friend GrayWolf from fanfiction.net. Thanks!
Art was done by
leesa_perrie during Fandom Stocking 2013. Thank you :)
Neal gulped down the rest of his wine and ran a hand through his hair. “Now, I try the best to fix things with Peter. And we wait.”
“That’s right. ‘In the case of news, we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation.’”
“Voltaire,” said Neal with a small smile before his expression turned serious again. “This might yet work out, Moz,” he said quietly. “For all I know, maybe Peter just didn’t want to deal with the Keller case so soon after… well, everything. At least he hasn’t made a decision yet. I can fix this. I have to fix this.”
“Well, thanks for calling me,” said Mozzie and got up from his chair. “I’ll drop by again tomorrow afternoon.”
“Goodbye, Moz,” said Neal and watched as the door closed behind his oldest real friend.
He pushed away the wine glasses and the half-empty bottle and stared at his hands on the table.
Neal knew that his current life could be hanging on a thread, and that the next few days would prove absolutely crucial for his future.
The news about the commutation hearing couldn’t have come at a worse time. While Neal would normally rejoice at the possibility of losing the anklet, he knew that he was given the opportunity on a false pretext. And what was worse, Peter knew it as well, and the injustice of it probably chafed at him and made him want to act.
In the brief moments after Keller’s confession and before Diana came with the news, Neal had started to hope that maybe, his and Peter’s partnership could be saved. Because even after everything, Peter had still thrown him a lifeline when he had stopped him from incriminating himself and told him about Keller’s confession.
But then the news came, and Neal was basically offered a reward for taking part in a heist of the century. And that was something that Peter could hardly accept.
Neal shook his head to wake himself up from his musings. He was startled when he realized that he had subconsciously picked a pencil and started to draw on a forgotten paper half-filled with writing. He quickly checked the paper and was relieved that it wasn’t anything Bureau-related. He wasn’t sure what would Peter say if he gave him a file filled with scribbles, but he wisely decided this wasn’t the moment to find out.
He did a double-take at the picture – and his heart constricted when he realized it he had sketched Elizabeth and Peter, as they had hugged each other in their house a few days ago after El’s rescue.
For a few seconds, Neal dropped his face into his hands. Then he got up and went to the balcony to watch as the evening shadows were evolving on New York.
How did you persuade your FBI agent supervisor that he didn’t want to send you back to prison after he found out that you had used your relative freedom to commit several felonies behind his back?
How did you prove to your partner that even after the lies and deception, he could still depend on you; that you would never let him down like that again, and that you two could still be a pretty good team?
And what in the world did you do after you betrayed the trust of a man that you considered your mentor (sometimes), your family (though you’d never admit it aloud), the man you respected like nobody else; the man who gave you a second chance at a better life and who was at first and utmost your very close friend?
Neal had never before let someone down so badly; not someone who mattered. And now he didn’t know what to do.
He supposed that in the past, he might have turned to Elizabeth for advice – but not after Keller and not after conning her in the beginning of this whole fiasco.
He could apologize – no, he had to apologize, that was for sure. But Neal also knew that a mere “sorry” wouldn’t cut it after all this, and especially not after El’s life had been put in danger because of him.
So many things were on stake now. His freedom, Mozzie’s freedom, his life at June’s, his job with the FBI, a chance to repair things with Sara – to repair things with El, who, as he suspected, might even now be arguing his case. If he went back, he would lose all of that.
But most of all, he would lose his partnership and friendship with Peter.
What now?
When Neal had tried to con Kate all these years ago and she left him for it, he had let it go in hopes that things would solve themselves after he and Alex got the music box. But they hadn’t, and while a part of Neal hoped that he could just outwait Peter’s disappointment and exasperation, he knew that he needed to do something. Soon.
It had been a week since they rescued El, and he and Peter had been perfectly polite to each other – or, more precisely, Peter was distant and polite and Neal was contrite and polite. At first, Neal had been relieved that (except for his initial reaction after El’s kidnapping) Peter had stayed calm, hadn’t shouted at him, hadn’t accused him in righteous anger. But now he was almost starting to wish that Peter had been angry, because maybe then they might have been able to move on and put this behind them.
Or maybe that was wistful thinking.
The distance wasn’t even that apparent at first glance. They still worked together, Neal still tried to act his usual self and Peter smiled at his jokes. But there was an abyss between them, and it had to be bridged, somehow. Only Neal had no idea how to do that.
Well, he could behave. And keep his head down. And apologize, and give it time – but time was something that he might not have.
If only Peter told him what he wanted from him.
Neal knew how to fix small fights. But he didn’t know how to fix this.
Suddenly, he heard a knocking at his door.
“I’m coming,” he called, and then he walked back inside and opened the door.
It was June with a plate of cookies. “Hello, Neal.”
“June,” said Neal with a warm smile. “What brings you here? These look wonderful,” he said to the plate of cookies.
“Oh, Samantha and I just finished baking them. Cindy is watching over her now, so I thought I’d bring you some.”
“Thank you,” said Neal and accepted the plate. “Hmm, they’re fantastic,” he mumbled after tasting one. “Do you want to come in?”
“Actually, I was about to ask you if you’d join us for a game of cards? Samantha wants to play ‘Go Fish’, and at least there would be some change from just the three of us playing.”
“I…” Neal hesitated.
Maybe it would do him good to get his mind off things…
“What is it?” asked June gently.
Neal shook his head. “I don’t want to bother you with my problems…”
Before he knew it, he was sitting downstairs in June’s kitchen with a coffee cup in his hands, while he could hear the voices from the living room.
“Got any fives, Cindy?”
“Go fish!”
“That’s not fair…”
“You know, sometimes, living with Byron wasn’t easy,” said June. “Or with my brother before that, for the matter. But I can tell you that, after any argument – now matter how big or small it was – the other usually appreciated it when the person tried to make up for it. Even if it was a clumsy effort… it counted.”
“What if it’s not enough this time?” asked Neal. “What if,” he felt his throat tighten, “what if the other doesn’t want to go back to the friendship? … I don’t know what to do, June,” he said with painful honesty.
“Did you try asking him?” asked June.
“You mean I should ask Peter, “Hey, how do I make up for taking everything you offered me and throwing it back in your face for the sake of a con”?” He shook his head. “We’ve been dancing around it for a whole week, and I’m not sure I want to poke into this particular hornet’s nest. … At least I’d want to find a really long stick first.”
“Well, then maybe you can ask Peter without actually asking,” said June mysteriously.
Neal frowned. “What do you have in mind?”
June got up and patted his shoulder. “Think about it, dear. … Now, let’s go have a play with Samantha. I think she’s really beginning to tire Cindy out.”
Neal smiled. “Okay.”
They got up and June put the cups away.
Neal stopped her just before they left the room. “June? Thanks for listening.”
June smiled. “Don’t mention it.”
“Great, you’re here,” said Cindy with a hint of relief. “You can start a new game…”
“No, you can’t leave!” exclaimed Samantha. “We need to finish first! And then all four of us have to play together!”
“Sammy, I have a project for tomorrow,” objected Cindy tiredly.
“Can I help you with it?” offered Neal spontaneously.
Cindy smiled. “No, I don’t think so – it’s a set of drawings; a study of one of Michelangelo’s sculptures. But thanks.”
“Let’s finish the game!” said Samantha. “Got any fours?” she asked eagerly.
Cindy picked up her cards in resignation.
Neal and June exchanged a chuckle. In his mind, Neal made a mental note to ask when June intended to introduce Samantha to poker. That should be fun to watch.
They played four games before Neal decided to return to his apartment.
Later, as he was sitting on his bed, he thought about June’s words.
Ask, but not ask… what had she meant by that?
It’s the effort that counts…
And suddenly, Neal’s eyes widened as he found the solution.
Or not a solution… but the beginning of it.
He couldn’t ask Peter in words how to make up for his misdeeds; how to regain his trust… but he could still get Peter to tell him.
Hmm… He would start with coffee. And baseball tickets. While there was no way he could bribe Peter to trust him again, he could show him that he wanted their friendship back. And maybe then, Peter would tell him what he actually could do to become worthy of another chance.
Neal was determined to save his friendship with Peter. And he would start tonight, by contacting some friends and getting those tickets.
He could call Greg, or maybe Mark, who owed him a favor for a blown scam. Or even better, he could call Frankie. He and Frankie had always got along rather well; Frankie liked him, and he had some connections. Yes, Frankie was the right guy for this. Frankie would help him out.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
It might have taken Neal a long time to realize how much New York and his current life meant for him, and because of that, he had almost lost it all. But now he knew, and if there was even a small chance that he could keep it, he would be damned if he let the best thing of his life slip away through his fingers.
There was nothing that Neal wanted more right now than to clear up the huge mess he had created in the last few months. If he was lucky, Peter would meet him halfway, or even quarter-way – hell, Neal would be happy if Peter was merely willing to take a step out of the door and wait for him until Neal could run all the way to get there.
And Peter was willing to do that, Neal realized. Otherwise he would have already proclaimed Keller’s testimony as false. He was willing to give Neal another chance, if Neal could prove to him that he was worth it.
Now all Neal had to do was not to screw up.
THE END
