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sheenianni) wrote2012-04-04 07:02 pm
White Collar fic - Scorpion's Touch
Title: Scorpion’s Touch
Author’s Name: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
sheenianni
Fandom: White Collar
Spoilers: Season 3 – Judgment Day (3.16)
Characters/Pairings: Neal Caffrey, Philip Kramer, Peter Burke, Sally, Elizabeth Burke; Neal/Kramer, Neal/Peter/El
Raiting: R
Content Notice: Seduction, mild sexual content, dub-con (Probably. I’m not sure on this one.)
Word Count: ~ 5.100
Summary: When Kramer succeeds in his plans and drags Neal with him to DC, Neal refuses to surrender and accept his fate. Instead, he pulls a destructive con to get back what he lost. AU, a darker portrayal of Neal, tag to Judgment Day.
A/N: This story was written in response to this prompt at collarkink, and was later beta’ed by rabidchild67 – thanks for your help! Any feedback will be much appreciated.
Neal patiently waits for six weeks before he “accidentally” lets his sleeve slip just an inch lower than usual. When Melissa notices the already fading, big bruise on his wrist, he gives her the perfect act of horrible, brief panic that can be masked only by the sheer determination of an abuse victim. When Melissa frowns and tries to ask about it, Neal masterfully diverts the conversation in another direction – but he knows that a few hours later, Melissa will realize what he has done.
Of course, if Neal truly wanted to mask something like this, nobody would stand a chance of seeing it, at least not until he half-bled to death forgotten somewhere in his abuser’s home. But Neal doesn’t plan to ever become a victim. When faced with danger, he first tries to charm it, then to scam it, or outsmart it; if the danger remains, he runs from it – when none of these works, he secretly picks a dagger and stabs it to death – and if he’s empty handed, and if everything else has failed, he will kick, scream and punch the danger until it decides to leave him alone.
Yes, Neal has run several times in his past, from various things. He has stolen, cheated, smiled and pretended; he has sometimes even laid low for a while – but never, ever has he surrendered his soul, and he promises himself he never will. And he is first and foremost not a victim.
Neal was once caught stealing from a guy who had a bad habit of making his enemies see their organs inside out before he finally killed them. Compared to that, taking down one FBI agent should be a walk in the park.
Neal secretly smiles when next day, Melissa gives him a thoughtful frown.
The game is on.
* * *
Peter, Sara, June. Mozzie. Also Diana and Jones, and – to Neal’s enormous surprise – even Reese Hughes. They all had promised him to do their best to find him a way out of his situation and have him come back to New York, although Hughes also told him that he won’t stop Kramer from proving Neal’s old crimes. He explained that he could only try to ensure that Neal served his sentence in New York and with the conditions of his original deal – but that was still more than Neal had expected. He was almost a little touched.
And so he went with Kramer, and waited. But when he heard Elizabeth struggling with tears for the fifth time in three months, when Mozzie wouldn’t take his calls, when Sara’s lies kept getting worse and worse and when not even Peter could pretend to be optimistic about getting him back anymore, Neal realized that he was once again on his own.
Nobody would save him. He had to save himself.
And so he started to plan.
* * *
“And that’s how they got away,” finishes Neal meekly – but during the second when everyone is looking at the blueprints, he makes sure that Kramer sees his insolent grin, the hint of excitement and pleasure that the three thieves managed to rob the museum that was supposed to have “unbeatable” security.
And just as Kramer manages to catch the brief millisecond of Neal’s smugness, Neal notices the spark of lust and fear in Kramer’s eyes before it’s gone.
“Good work, Caffrey,” says Kramer in a cool, professional tone. “Alright – Greg, tell the museum that we’ll come there in an hour, and to make sure that nobody gets close to that ventilation shaft. John, ask our usual CIs if they have heard something about those paintings, and David, try to get something from that tape, even if you have to steal away that weird genius kid from cyber crimes. This case is our top priority now. We were in this museum six months ago, and we fully approved their security arrangements. I want those people caught and those paintings back, so let’s get to work!”
Everyone exits the room except for Neal and Kramer.
For a moment, they stare at each other in silence. Then Neal gives Kramer a cocky smile.
“Did you check this museum personally?” he asks. “Because if you did, then your idea of ’security’ just sucks. Those were some amateurs who got lucky. If it was me, you would never have known I was there.”
“I think you’re enjoying this far too much, Caffrey,” growls Kramer, but his eyes glimmer and his face becomes a little flushed. “I think we need to have a personal conversation about the kind of attitude an FBI consultant is supposed to display in these situations.”
“Of course, sir,” says Neal with a smile. As he walks out of the room, he stumbles and his hand “accidentally” comes into contact with Kramer’s crotch. “You’re a sucker, Phil,” he whispers in a hot, quiet voice – but before he manages to leave, Kramer grabs his wrist and stops him.
Neal looks down at his wrist. Then he stares into Kramer’s eyes. The place is a blind spot, free of cameras and out of the view of the other agents outside.
“You’re an evil son of a bitch, aren’t you, Neal?” asks Kramer with quiet appreciation.
“I’m what you make of me, sir,” replies Neal in a seductive, hushed tone.
Then he gently frees his hand out of Kramer’s hold. He loosely places his arm around Kramer’s neck. He gives him a light smile and playfully, flirtatiously starts running his fingers over the side of Kramer’s neck and cheek.
Kramer lifts his hand and gently starts playing with Neal’s hair, until he suddenly roughly grabs it and pulls Neal into a forceful, lustful kiss.
Neal reciprocates by pulling Kramer closer.
They kiss again, and again; they fight over control – struggling, sucking, biting, pulling –
Then suddenly, Neal uses his free hand and squeezes Kramer’s balls so hard that the agent almost cries out. Kramer completely lets go of him and just stares at Neal with tears of pain in his eyes.
Neal gives him a genuine smile of pure innocence.
“Tonight, Phil,” he whispers, before he strokes Kramer’s chest, gives him one brief kiss on his cheek and finally lets go of his testicles as he slips out of the room, leaving one gasping, panting agent behind.
As soon as the door closes behind him, he quickly slips back into the expression of a smiling conman, allowing just the tiniest bit of fear and shame to show in his whole posture – just enough to make one or two FBI agents mildly curious if they notice.
But inside, Neal feels some predatory emotion flare up again.
In six weeks, he’s gotten Kramer exactly where he wanted him, just like Kramer had Neal where he wanted him.
Soon, Neal’s captor will regret that he ever dared to mess with him.
* * *
In the end, the idea was pretty simple. If Neal seduced Kramer into an “inappropriate” relationship with him, Kramer would have to let him go.
The plan had its problems, of course – while it would free Neal from Kramer, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t be simply sent to prison afterwards. But Neal had a solution for that as well, and while it took a while to figure out a willing accomplice who wouldn’t try to dissuade him from his plan, he finally succeeded – and found one in Sally, The Vulture.
‘It’s a flashdrive that contains a special program and a virus,’ explained Sally during their one brief personal meeting – a result of three weeks of Neal’s painful scheming. ‘If you try to access anything without the password, the files will self-destruct and the virus will be downloaded into the computer, just as a safety measure. You have one try to get the password right, so you better triple-check before entering it. Now, do you have an idea for the password?’
‘Hmm…’ Neal hesitated.
‘Make it something simple,’ advised Sally. ‘Anything is fine, as long as you avoid the most obvious things – your girlfriend’s name, your birthplace, your – ’
‘Antares,’ interrupted her Neal suddenly. ‘Make it Antares.’
‘That’s your idea of simple?’ asked Sally in disbelief.
‘It’s a star; the Heart of the Scorpion,’ explained Neal. ‘My… former girlfriend… was a bit obsessed with magic, art and astrology. I’ve picked up a few things.’
‘A scorpion?’ raised her eyebrows Sally. ‘There are some bad associations with that animal…’
‘The scorpion is a symbol of death, hate, destruction, change and rebirth,’ spoke Neal. ‘He’s determined and fearless, and he will crawl through the darkest, most dangerous and forbidden places to get what he wants. They’re the masters of slowly delivered, crushing vengeance. Scorpions are associated with sexuality, a Scorpio can make a great seducer.’
‘All right. That sounds like it fits your situation perfectly,’ said Sally grimly.
‘But there’s more to that,’ said Neal. ‘Scorpio’s also a healing sign. He works well in crisis situations and has strong survival instincts. When he hits rock bottom, he doesn’t break. He’s known for his great mental, physical and emotional strength.’
‘That’s enough for me, Caffrey,’ interrupted Sally. ‘If I didn’t try to dissuade you from your crazy plan, then I certainly won’t waste my time over this.’
Neal looked into her eyes. ‘I didn’t ask for this, Sally,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s Kramer who forced my hand. … I just want my life back; I want to go home, Sally. Please, help me beat this. Help me come home.’
Sally didn’t even blink as she opened her laptop. ‘What did you say the password was?’
* * *
When they get to Kramer’s apartment, they barely make it out of the hallway to the kitchen. Then Kramer shuts the door, and Neal looks at him with a dangerous smile.
“So, lawman. We’re home. Now, will you execute your threats, or will they be just empty words? Of course, maybe you’re not up to anything anymo – ”
“You talk too much, Caffrey,” interrupts Kramer and pushes Neal onto the kitchen table.
Neal readily pulls him closer and rips Kramer’s jacket away. “You’re an old, uptight bastard,” he mumbles into Kramer’s collarbone. Then the older man grabs the skin of Neal’s neck and his hair and forces him to bend his head backwards in a totally submissive position, revealing his throat. Kramer immediately covers it with his other hand and squeezes – not too hard to hurt him or choke him but enough to show his dominance – which doesn’t last long, because the next second, Neal twists his body and levels the playing field as he throws Kramer onto the table next to him.
They struggle for a while, neither of them gaining the upper hand. They keep losing their clothes – until suddenly, Neal gets hold of Kramer’s handcuffs, and then begins a fight that doesn’t go far for creating scrapes and bruises, and that – like always – ends with Neal secured and at Kramer’s mercy.
It’s both his hands bound this time. If it’s just one hand cuffed to the bed, a chair leg, a pipe or something else, Neal sometimes becomes the man with his legs around Kramer’s torso as he thrusts into Kramer’s ass and Kramer groans and moans in pleasure.
But this time, Kramer has managed to get both of Neal’s hands into the handcuffs and bind them behind Neal’s back, so tight that it almost hurts.
(Good. Hopefully that will create some additional bruising that Neal could use as evidence.)
Kramer and Neal are both panting hard from the power play between them. When they finally regain their breaths, Kramer grabs Neal’s chin and leads them to the bedroom. There they sit on the bed.
“You’re one sick old bastard, Phil,” Neal whispers into the sheets, but loud enough that Kramer can hear him.
Kramer slowly, almost gently starts to remove the rest of Neal’s clothes.
* * *
When Neal first came up with the idea of seducing Kramer, he almost made the fatal mistake of misjudging the man.
A thing like that happened to him maybe once in five years. Neal was a masterful confidence man. Even as a child, he had been a brilliant judge of character, and years of practice had allowed him to hone his skills to near perfection. But for a moment, Kramer had appeared to be an enigma.
At first, Neal had thought that Kramer wanted to “fix” him and “save” him from his life of crime. But that wasn’t the case.
Then he thought that Kramer wanted an incurable, shameless, hardened criminal that he could conquer and crush. That was fine with Neal. He would have played the part of a slowly “redeeming”, regretful crook, but if Kramer wanted to dominate his own Keller (one without the killing part, that is), then Neal would give him the chance.
As long as he got what he needed, what happened in between wasn’t important.
But then he found out that he had been wrong again.
* * *
When Kramer collapses next to him, Neal slips the cuffs and pulls him into an embrace.
He isn’t surprised when he sees the tears in Kramer’s eyes.
“What is it, Phil?” asks Neal softly.
“I hate you, Caffrey,” grits Kramer through his teeth. “I hate you, more than anyone else in the world.”
“Good, Phil. Good,” says Neal with a smile. “You know, this is all your fault. You’re such a fucked-up head-case, aren’t you, Phil? … But it’s all right. It’s all right. It’s perfect.”
Shortly afterwards, he gets up and leaves, leaving Kramer with a mess of thoughts and a new amount of painful doubts.
Instead of letting it bother him, Neal uses his time to have a short, loving phone-call with Sara. He has no doubt that his phone’s tapped, so he leaves another clue; a slight stutter after Sara proclaims her love to him.
He’s not happy that he’s making her worry, but he’s committed to a plan – and the sooner this is over, the sooner he’ll be able to come home.
It’s worth it, Neal thinks, when Sara anxiously asks him if he’s all right, and he pauses just long enough to ensure that his answer would be considered a lie.
“Of course I’m fine, Sara. … And I miss you. I miss you so much!”
It’s worth it.
* * *
The first time Kramer thrust Neal against a wall in a mixture of rage and desire, Neal reciprocated by cutting the distance between them and forcing his tongue into Kramer’s mouth.
Kramer grabbed both Neal’s wrists and pinned them above Neal’s head before he surrendered himself to lust and passion.
When they finally pulled apart, Neal’s hair was disheveled, and Kramer’s hands were shaking.
And that’s when Neal caught it – and suddenly, he understood.
It was a spark of fear in Kramer’s eyes. It was fear, desperation, longing and defeat.
Neal realized that Kramer didn’t want to completely dominate him after all.
No, what Kramer wanted was much simpler and more complicated all at once.
Neal soon learned that there were two ways to seduce his handler. One was simple – to show Kramer his brilliance; crack a case, play on Kramer’s detective side, the one that wasn’t satisfied until a problem was solved. In that regard, Neal and Kramer weren’t so different – they both admired a masterful con, the challenge; only Neal would rather commit it, while Kramer wanted to put the perpetrators behind bars. Neal discovered that Kramer thought there was something incredibly sexy about finding a new clue or returning a painting. Well, he could use that all right.
But it was the second revelation that surprised Neal.
* * *
“Hey, Phil?” calls Neal and covers the phone with his hand. “I forgot – did you say Mexican pizza?”
“Uh-huh,” replies Kramer from the next room.
It would be a mistake to assume that it’s always just a struggle and power-play between them. Sometimes, like tonight, they return from work, either to Kramer’s or to Neal’s apartment (thought there was little difference, since they both lived in the same building). Neal or Kramer cooks dinner (or orders it, like today), they watch TV and then spend the night snuggled close to each other, when Neal just gently strokes Kramer’s shoulder and Kramer closes his eyes and rests.
“I’m sure Keira will be all right,” says Neal after a while.
“She will be,” replies Kramer tiredly, his eyes still closed. “The medics said the bullet didn’t hit anything important. She should make a full recovery.”
“That’s good,” says Neal sincerely.
Then he pulls away, picks up the last piece of pizza and leans back onto the couch next to Kramer.
In the incredibly bizarre moments like this, when he’s spending a quiet, peaceful moment with his jailor, Neal can almost imagine that this could have been real. If Kramer was twenty, thirty years younger, if he hadn’t threatened Neal and torn him away from his friends, if Kramer wasn’t fucked-up in the head and if they had met in different circumstances, then maybe – maybe – Neal could have fallen in love with him, or at least lusted for him. Because Kramer could be surprisingly gentle, and he is an attentive, fantastic lover when he wants to be. Because Kramer knows how to appreciate true art. Because somewhere in his twisted mind, Kramer still cares for people, and most of all, he just doesn’t want to be alone.
Neal doesn’t know if these thoughts are Stockholm Syndrome talking or not – but in the end, it doesn’t matter. He needs to create the suspicion that Kramer forced him into a sexual relationship. He needs to get enough hard evidence.
Once he has what he needs, he will be able to make a deal – the FBI won’t look into his old crimes, and in exchange, he won’t use the evidence he has to horribly tarnish the Bureau’s image in the minds of America’s citizens.
Everybody wins – except for Philip Kramer.
The man has threatened Sara and Mozzie, thinks Neal. He has forced Neal to fight dirty. He has no reason to feel guilty about that.
Still, when Kramer falls asleep with his head on Neal’s shoulder, Neal can’t help but feel a small pang of regret.
* * *
The truth was, Agent Philip Kramer didn’t want someone to redeem, or someone he could control and rule over.
No.
In the depths of his heart, Kramer was a self-destructive, desperate person.
* * *
“One day, I’ll truly shackle you,” says Kramer when he and Neal finish another round of mind-blowing sex (it’s not making love – it’s not even a trade, just a perverse parody of something that should never be used as a tool, and they know it).
“I’ll shackle you and break you,” repeats Kramer – and they both know it’s a lie. Even if Kramer continues restricting Neal until he has nothing left, even if he manages to prove Neal’s old crimes that are currently on his desk, he won’t be able to destroy Neal’s spirit.
* * *
It truly showed in their games with the handcuffs. Neal could have easily overcome Kramer maybe half of the time – but he never did. Instead, they created an illusion that Kramer had power over Neal, because it made their lives easier; made it possible for them to continue the game to the ends that they desired.
For Neal, the endgame was New York, Sara, Peter and El. Freedom.
And for Kramer…
* * *
“One day, Phil, this will destroy your life,” sighs Neal as he caresses Kramer’s chin and cheeks.
And they both know he’s right.
* * *
Kramer didn’t want a lover. He didn’t even truly want Neal as a consultant.
No, what Kramer wanted was a scorpion, a hyena, someone who would tear his life apart and leave it in pieces.
Neal knew it.
Deep down, Kramer probably knew it as well.
Ninety-five percent of the time, Kramer hid it all masterfully. He let his “agent side” take charge, and he became a force to be reckoned with.
Other times, he was like a child, or a puppy that someone had kicked repeatedly and then locked away, before it lost all hope of ever seeing light again.
And sometimes, these two sides mixed, together with… something… that Neal hadn’t dared to identify. And then Philip Kramer showed himself to be a twisted, sick man; one that would force someone he claimed to care about to handcuff his closest friend; one that would have Sara and Mozzie locked away if Neal didn’t give him what he wanted, one that would threaten to break Neal’s fingers if he dared to be unfaithful to him.
Neal didn’t know what had happened to Kramer to make him the way he was. But he also knew that he must never try to find out, because maybe then he might start to sympathize with his jailor, and he couldn’t afford to put his plan in jeopardy.
If Kramer had been just an opportunistic bastard who had wanted him for his cases, Neal believed they would have eventually found a way out for him that would have satisfied Kramer as well. It would have been a fair trade – with Neal’s abilities and Neal’s freedom as the main bargaining chips on the table.
If Kramer had been a misguided, earnest person with a hero complex, Neal would have played a role for him as well. He would have used his two years well, persuaded Kramer that he was reformed, and then they would have parted ways – no hard feelings.
But Kramer wasn’t a rational person anymore.
Because Kramer knew their relationship was all a lie. He knew it, and it was the thing that drew him to Neal. He knew that one day, Neal would break the invisible shackles he had placed on himself, and then he would take his revenge. Maybe he would kill Kramer. Maybe he would just torture him. Maybe he would tarnish his reputation. Kramer had no way to know the form or the time when the final blow would be delivered – just that it would be.
And until then, Neal would give him an illusion of something that wasn’t there.
Because Kramer wanted a scorpion.
And Neal became one, just for him.
* * *
Their relationship lasts for four months before Neal finally decides that he has enough material to get what he wants. Also, he knows that Kramer’s getting closer to proving one of Neal’s old frauds, and that would mean another eight to fifteen years added to Neal’s sentence.
Philip might be a nutcase, but he’s still a brilliant agent.
It’s time to end this.
* * *
Neal thinks this is the last night he sleeps with Kramer.
In the corner of his mind, he feels like once he gets free, once he returns to New York, he’ll start throwing up, and he won’t stop until years later. He thinks he might never be himself again, and he fears that he won’t be able to kill the scorpion in himself that he has awakened to carry out this plan.
But he’ll worry about that later. Tonight, he still has a part to play.
It is for Peter, El, Mozzie and June.
For Sara.
It is for home.
* * *
“Neal, you can trust me,” says the incredibly kind, patient woman across from him. “I just need you to tell me the truth, and this will all be over. Did your handler, Special Agent Philip Kramer force you into a sexual relationship?”
Neal stares down at his hands, and he doesn’t even have to fake the shame, guilt and the sick feeling.
“Yes,” he whispers at last.
And with that, the tears he has been suppressing for seven months finally spill over, and Neal starts to shake, and the kind woman squeezes his hand, and he just wants to laugh hysterically and never stop –
* * *
In the end, Neal doesn’t even need all the materials he has smuggled to Sally over the months, so great is the work he has done on the rest of his plan.
The whole affair is hushed up.
Kramer is forced into early retirement, “for medical reasons.”
Neal receives full immunity for all his old crimes, in exchange for a promise that he won’t talk. He feels amusement when some of his new DC colleagues are enraged on his behalf, but he persuades them to let it go.
The Bureau even buys him a plane ticket to New York.
Neal Caffrey, a free citizen, goes home.
* * *
He doesn’t know how Peter discovers what happened (or at least what he thinks happened) – but when he does, Peter’s enraged. Neal has to talk him out of going after Kramer and shooting him, or ripping him to pieces with his bare hands. Then later, he needs to repeat the same process with El, Sara and Diana.
(And Mozzie. Neal doesn’t know what exactly happened with Mozzie – he simply disappeared for a week and returned with a strange smile. Neal is relieved when he confirms that DC is still standing, and figures he would rather not ask.)
They offer him a contact with the Bureau’s psychologist, and Sara tells him she knows someone as well. Neal turns down both offers.
He never tells them the truth; how he seduced Kramer so that he could return home. He once more becomes Peter’s consultant, but this time, he’s officially paid, and unless he really screws up, he’ll never have to wear the anklet again.
Peter, Diana, El, Sara, Mozzie, Sally and June are the only people (except the small handful in Washington) who know what Kramer has “done” to him. For a while, they treat Neal like a porcelain doll, until he almost breaks and explodes at them to stop, or they’ll drive him crazy.
Neal isn’t a rape victim.
He isn’t a victim at all.
But he’s sure starting to feel like one.
* * *
Eventually, when he’s unable to sleep more than an hour or two a night, Neal realizes that unless he does something, he’ll go crazy with guilt and shame.
He still doesn’t find the courage to tell someone, not until his lack of sleep causes a lapse in concentration that could have gotten Peter seriously injured. Even though nobody blames him and everyone pretends it wasn’t Neal’s fault, he knows he has to confide in someone. Otherwise he’ll have to give up being a consultant before he gets someone killed.
And so he tells June what he has done.
“I just wanted to go home,” he sobs brokenly as June holds him in a powerful hug.
“It’s okay, dear,” whispers June. “You did what you had to. You’ll be okay.”
The next morning, she tells him she can refer him to a completely discreet, very professional therapist. This time, Neal takes the number.
* * *
It takes half a year before things get somewhat to normal.
In the meantime, Neal breaks up with Sara, and the two of them settle into being very good friends. He goes through a period when he sleeps with five, six different people a week. He goes through a brief period of a sudden religious surge. He goes through anger, denial and depression, until he finally reaches acceptance.
That he has seduced another person and framed him for his own ends.
That he has taken vengeance on a man who wasn’t truly evil, but who more than anything else needed professional help.
And that he has deceived his friends about it all.
His nightmares slowly begin to cease.
Neal is starting to learn from what he has gone through.
* * *
Another six months later, Neal comes to Peter and El’s home. They talk and talk and talk, and then they kiss and snuggle, and finally, they make love; no evil parody, but simply… love.
No sick games. No power-plays. Maybe one day, Neal will be able to enjoy all that again and explore new kinks with Peter and El, but now, he just wants warm, human contact, without any strings and angles.
Just pure, simple love.
The next morning, when they talk about the future, Neal confesses to them everything he has done, even the things he couldn’t tell June or his therapist.
Peter and El both look stunned.
“Fuck it!” exclaims Peter at last, startling both Neal and El. He starts pacing across the room.
Neal swallows. “I’ll – I’ll understand if you never want to see me again – ”
“What?” asks Peter furiously and turns to him. When Neal cringes, he immediately softens his tone. “I’m not angry at you, Neal,” he explains with forced calm. “I’m angry at myself. Before Kramer arrested you, I wanted to give you a sign to run – but then I decided to have faith in the system. And this is what happened!”
“Peter – ”
“It’s my fault,” snaps Peter. “My bloody fault – I could have stopped this. I never should have called him to begin with. You never – you never should have had to – fuck it!”
“Honey, I think you’re scaring him,” interrupts Elizabeth softly.
“But this never should have – ” Peter suddenly stops as he sees the devastated look in Neal’s face.
“Hey,” he says, crosses the room and takes both Neal’s hands in his. “I don’t blame you. I’m not mad at you.”
“You’re not?” whispers Neal at the edge of tears.
“No, I’m not mad,” says Peter. “I’m sorry we weren’t able to help you. I’m sorry you had to make such a choice. But I’m not mad at you. I’m – I’m glad that you’re home, okay? I’m glad you’re here. And I’m,” he hesitates, “I’m proud that you were able to find a solution even in this situation. Okay?”
“We love you, sweetie,” says Elizabeth softly, when Neal doesn’t manage to answer.
Neal swallows. “I’m home,” he says shakily.
“Yes, Neal,” says Peter. “You’re home.”
Then the three of them hug each other.
It's not this day, nor the next one... it doesn't even happen this month. But eventually, Neal lets himself believe that things will be all right again. And later, a time will come when he won't wake up at night because of dreams of lies, handcuffs and dirty kisses, but simply because Peter has moved in his sleep, because El has snuggled closer to him or because Satchmo visited them in their bed.
It's night, Neal is staring at the ceiling, and he's almost startled when suddenly, Peter gently squeezes his hand.
Neal smiles.
The End
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Thank you for your thoughtful and honest review!
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Great job!
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Thank you for your beautiful review!
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I felt sorry for both Neal and Kramer by the end.
Then my work is complete!
Thank you so much for your beautiful review!
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You perfectly put in words the essence of the story.
Thank you so much for this absolutely amazing review!
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I had decided not without really thinking at it directly, and by promising myself I'd re-watch all the Kramer scenes again soon.
What you show here, though--that Kramer is craving self-destruction--totally fits what I initially saw. (I ought to have caught it, since the way a friend of mine was treated as a child makes it very difficult for her to accept anything good about herself. Feelings like that can wait a long time to surface, so it's totally believable that for someone Kramer's age, they are just reaching the point of crisis.) You are a very perceptive person! Well done!
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I’ve been doing a lot of examining Kramer’s character recently. Some time ago, I wrote a fic where Neal ended up as Kramer’s CI (ironically, it was long before Checkmate aired, not to mention Judgment Day). I promised my readers a sequel, and I hate to break promises. So, now I’m trying to write that story with Kramer as one of the main characters… and it’s damn hard!
I had him as… well, not a great guy, but a reasonably decent man – and now I’m trying to reconcile my old fic, my new fic, Kramer from Countdown (where Peter clearly shows that he trusts him and respects him) and from Judgment Day (my extremely patient beta is great – she’s willing to discuss with me the various layers and angles of Kramer’s personality and the many interpretations that I’ve found of him, despite the fact that her words before Judgment Day were – I quote – “Agent Kramer can go kick rocks as we sometimes say here. I don't like him. I didn't like him. I will never like him.“).
As byproducts of the sequel that might never be finished and my attempts to write Kramer as a decent man (and yet still in character), I’ve had him eaten by sharks, I have a very different version of him verbal-sparing with June in one of my WIPs, and now I wrote Scorpion’s Touch, where I myself was surprised by the way he turned out.
So, you could say that I’ve also seen the problem you’ve noticed, and I’ve been trying to find an explanation. The simplest is that Peter had been wrong about Kramer from the beginning, or that he had never noticed the worse sides of Kramer’s personality (or had forgotten them… I mean, Peter had been Kramer’ probie some, what, fifteen years ago?). Another option is that something had happened to Kramer after Peter became a full-fledged agent. Or maybe the situation with Neal just pushes all Kramer’s buttons (could be, with his old CI and a few other things) and we see him at his absolutely worst. And maybe he is truly self-destructive. Who knows?
It would be interesting to see Kramer in circumstances that don’t involve Neal. Maybe then we would be able to understand him better as a character.
(And I really need to cut this response now!)
Once again, thank you for your review, and I’m glad that this portrayal of Kramer made sense to you.
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Thanks for the recommendation on the WC Redux page.
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